It is natural to want to blame others for our faults and mistakes. After all, who really enjoys being wrong? And this is never more true than for those unfortunate souls who were incessantly shamed as children. This builds in an almost allergic reaction to the mere thought of being found wanting and the soul withers at the prospect of recriminations from others. Thus, while it is a totally reasonable place to journey through, it is certainly not a good location to set up camp.
Blaming others and rejecting responsibility for ourselves robs us of any opportunity to grow and change beyond our current limited internal landscape. It is like relegating yourself to the chicken coop when you could have had 10,000 acres on which to roam. Why would you do that? Why, indeed! It is primarily because of fear: fear of being wrong, fear of being rejected, fear of being ridiculed, fear of failing, etc.
The reality is that we absolutely MUST own who we are, where we’ve been and the mistakes we’ve made (as well as our successes) in order to move past the broken down camp we’ve lived in to find our true home. Call me an optimist if you must – maybe even unrealistic – but I passionately believe that every human being has something to offer, has gifts to give and sports their own brand of genius.
The trick to finding the place you really call home is to fully accept all that you are…without judgment…without fear. Learn to embrace that it is what it is. You are where you are for a very good reason. Own that. Accept it. And only then…can you really move past it.